Katniss Everdeen Must Pee!

I mean, don’t you think?

But no. Two, three weeks in the woods, and not once did she pee.

If you don’t know who Katniss Everdeen is, where have you been, and what have you been doing with your life? No shame in it though. Ms. Everdeen is the heroin of the Hunger Games trilogy, YA novels that center on a violent blood sport in which children are forced to murder one another for the entertainment of a futuristic dystopian society. If you can get past the kid-on-kid violence and the fact that the novel’s main idea was surreptitiously borrowed from the Japanese novel Battle Royal and or its film adaptation, then it’s a pretty entertaining read.

My daughter started the books this summer and I though I’d tag along for the ride. We are both enjoying the novels, but one thing really bugged me. No one ever has to pee. Going to the bathroom is never all that relevant to a story, so I understand why us writers tend to give it a pass in our pros, but our heroin, Katniss Everdeen, is in a life and death struggle, not only against her fellow competitors but the elements of the great outdoors as well. Food, water, shelter, all the basics a human needs to stay alive are given great time and detail as Katniss hunts, gathers, cooks, and eats her way through the forest - almost as much detail as when Hemingway chronicled Nick Adam’s fishing trip. (Big Two-Hearted River)  But what we never see, although I’m sure it happens, is Katniss answering nature’s call. Why is this important, you ask? Because, so much of Katniss’s strategy involves staying out of sight, hiding, always being alert and never getting caught in a vulnerable position. Other than being caught asleep, can you think of a more vulnerable time then when you’re crouched behind a rock with your pants around your ankles pushing out some business?  I can’t, and as I read I kept wondering how this dilemma would be dealt with. It never was. Just to make sure I’m not crazy I asked my daughter if she had the same thoughts while reading. She did. So we are either both crazy or…people in the future no longer have to pee. I did enjoy the novel and am looking forward to reading about Katniss Neverpeein’s next adventure in The Hunger Games: Breaking Wind.

 

That being said, I promises that in my new novel, Night of the ZomBEEs – available July 15^th, there will be peeing. Not a lot, just the right amount I think. On page 70 Sam Campbell, tomboy and self proclaimed daredevil, stomps off to pee. The book is not really about peeing…here read the promo copy.  

It’s Founders Day in Honeywell Springs, a day residents dress up in black-and-yellow costumes to celebrate the insect that gave the town its prosperity, the Honey Bee. But when a mad scientist releases a contagious swarm of mutant bees, it turns the townsfolk of Honeywell Springs into the walking dead, in bee costumes.

It’s thirteen-year-old Shaun Ripley’s worst nightmare. Plagued with apiphobia, asthma, and panic attacks, Shaun must draw on his knowledge of his hero, James Bond, to stay alive. With his best friend, Toby, a fellow 007 enthusiast, and Sam, a bullying tomboy, Shaun must overcome his bee phobia and find a way to escape Honeywell Springs. Terrified, surrounded, and running out of time, the three must work together if they are to survive the Night of the ZomBEEs!

More on this as the release date approaches. In the meantime, May the Buzz be with you.

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The concept of The Hunger Games, much like the novel and film it was borrowed from, Battle Royal, is hard to swallow. It centers on a violent blood sport in which children are forced to murder one another for the entertainment of a futuristic dystopian society. I can say as a parent that no way in hell would I allow this, oppressive government or not. Unless my kid had a really, really really good chance of wining, but other than that, no way. But if you can overlook the kid-on-kid violence then its a fast and fun read. Sad, moving, often thrilling, The Hunger Games is worth your time. One thing did bug me as I read. Our heroin, Katniss Everdeen, is out in the woods for 2 or 3 weeks and not once does she have to pee. Oh well, I look forward to the next adventure of Katniss Neverpeein' in The Hunger Games: Breaking Wind. 

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