Sunday, December 20, 2015

FREE Kindle Editions

Starting Monday, December 21st, I'm giving away my new novel Night of the ZomBEEs and the 2nd edition of my short story collection, Blood, Gridlock, & PEZ away for FREE. Happy Holidays. Don't say I didn't get you anything...

Night of the ZomBEEs is perfect for that teen of yours sitting at home this winter break. Its a fast, funny read guaranteed to get them to put down the video game controllers for a few hours. For ages 12-18 plus.

It’s Founders Day in Honeywell Springs, a day residents dress up in black-and-yellow costumes to celebrate the insect that gave the town its prosperity, the Honey Bee. But when a mad scientist releases a contagious swarm of mutant bees, it turns the townsfolk of Honeywell Springs into the walking dead, in bee costumes. It’s thirteen-year-old Shaun Ripley’s worst nightmare. Plagued with apiphobia, asthma, and panic attacks, Shaun must draw on his knowledge of his hero, James Bond, to stay alive. With his best friend, Toby, a fellow 007 enthusiast, and Sam, a bullying tomboy, Shaun must overcome his bee phobia and find a way to escape Honeywell Springs. Terrified, surrounded, and running out of time, the three must work together if they are to survive the Night of the ZomBEEs!

Blood, Gridlock, & PEZ: Podcasted Tales ofHorror, 2nd Edition, has been completely redone -new images, improved layout, and a bonus story. This collection is comprised of short stories that first appeared in audio form on popular fiction podcasts like The Drabblecast, Pseudopod, and The Dunesteef Audio Fiction Magazine. Visit a post-apocalyptic world where it becomes difficult to distinguish friends from food. Experience the dead reaching forward from the past to influence the future of the living. Summon nerves of steel to remove the spiders living in a human brain. Conspire with malevolent jack-o’-lanterns to stop a mad man. And stand up to death in the middle of a traffic jam with only your wits, and PEZ. 

The last day to get your FREE copy of Night of the ZomBEEs and Blood, Gridlock, & PEZ: 2nd edition is Wednesday December 23rd. 

Friday, November 27, 2015

Pop Cultist Interview - Movie News

Had the pleasure of speaking with the new podcast and web presence, Pop Cultist, created and hosted by writer, reviewer, and zombie aficionado Tony Schaab. The show is co-hosted by Tony’s accomplice in all things nerdy, his wife Emily Schaab. We talked about everything from my new novel, Night of the ZomBEEs to how to make a mixed geeky marriage work. Tony’s knowledge of the undead genre and culture made the conversation a lot of fun for me, and I got to plug away at the new project I’m involved with, a Night of the Living Trekkies movie-like venture, currently in pre-production.  Follow the link to give the interview a listen and show Pop Cultist some love. I know an upcoming episode will have an interview with well-known horror scribe Jonathan Maberry  

Night of the ZomBEEs is doing well on Amazon. It’s available in trade paperback and kindle. An audio version should be out sometime in December produced and performed by Parsec Award winning podcaster Rish Outfield, co-host of The Dunesteef Audio Fiction Magazine, one of my favorite podcasts, co-hosted Bigg Anklevich. If you wish to receive a review copy please email me at 

And lastly if you’re looking for something fun to read this holiday season, can I recommend Santastein by Mr. Brian K. Morris. Read my review here and at goodreads. 

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I think if Mary Shelly had an irreverent sense of humor and had penned Frankenstein during the height of the Christmas season she could have written Santastein. Brian K. Morris takes our classic, beloved horror story, Frankenstein, and mashes it up, at warp speed, into the holidays. There is short list of writers that have made me laugh out loud; Douglass Adams, Terry Pratchett, Jeff Strand, and now Brian K. Morris. 

Monday, November 16, 2015

So Much Buuzzzzz!

Hope everyone had a fantastic Halloween. Mine was a little slower than usual but I did get in a really good scare. Several middle schoolers dressed in Star Wars costumes walked up to my door and before they had even rung the doorbell, a carefully placed demon (string operated) flew up, roared, and Jedi screaming could be heard up and down my street. The trick or treater dressed as the new Star Wars character Kylo Ren, (suppose to be the new big bad guy) dropped his full bag of candy and lightsaber on my porch, before running for his life. I'm not a jerk, I did not keep the candy or the lightsaber (although I really wanted to,it  was the new tri-saber) I returned everything. I got at least a dozen good screams throughout the night, but the Star Wars kids were my favorite. I wonder if kids dressed in Star Trek outfits would have been a little braver?

The kindle edition of Night of the ZomBEEs is now available, and the Audio Book will be ready in December produced by Parsec award winning podcaster Rish Outfield. Very excited this is finally getting out there and read. I think its the best thing I've produced since Night of the Living Trekkies.

The book is getting a bit of buzz, no pun intended, and if you need a review copy please contact myself or Janice Bohica at:

Thanks to the members of the LA Chapter of the Horror Writers Association for participating in an event that raised needed funds for Pet Orphans of Southern California. I contributed a few books and posters but theses handsome HWA members went the extra mile and not only contributed books but showed up to sign copies for fans. 

In other news, my article "The Horror of Star Trek" was published right before Halloween on the Geeks of Doom entertainment web site. Its a fun little guide describing, and recommending some of the best Star Trek episodes to view if you are looking for a little horror in your Science Fiction. And if you do not follow and read Geeks of Doom, you are really missing out. It is a fantastic news source for comics, video games, genre movies and all things geeky.

Lastly, but by no means least, I'm really looking forward to my next writing project. In the next few days I'll be working on a film project and I'd like to say more about it, but it's just a little early for details. But I'm as excited about this project as I was the day Quirk Books said they wanted to buy Night of the Living Trekkies. I will share when I can.

Please take care of one another 


Thursday, October 22, 2015

Night of the ZomBEEs

Cover art and design by Bo Kaier 
I'm just happy this one is finally out. It’s been through several agents, publishers, big and small, and finally after almost 4 years it’s up on Amazon in trade paperback. E-book will be along in November with an audio book available sometime in December, produced by Parsec Award winning podcaster, Rish Outfield. I’m also very grateful that Bo Kaier was available for the cover art. I’ll keep him in mind when it comes time to do the movie posters for the theatrical release. 

To fans of Night of the Living Trekkies: ZomBEEs is written for a slightly younger audience (13 - 18 plus) But it is filled with geeky goodness, tons of zombie culture mentions, genre references from James Bond to Star Trek, and it has a NotLT crossover in the early chapters. I challenge you to find it.

From the back cover: It’s Founders Day in Honeywell Springs, a day residents dress up in black-and-yellow costumes to celebrate the insect that gave the town its prosperity, the Honey Bee. But when a mad scientist releases a contagious swarm of mutant bees, it turns the townsfolk of Honeywell Springs into the walking dead, in bee costumes. It’s thirteen-year-old Shaun Ripley’s worst nightmare. Plagued with apiphobia, asthma, and panic attacks, Shaun must draw on his knowledge of his hero, James Bond, to stay alive. With his best friend, Toby, a fellow 007 enthusiast, and Sam, a bullying tomboy, Shaun must overcome his bee phobia and find a way to escape Honeywell Springs. Terrified, surrounded, and running out of time, the three must work together if they are to survive the Night of the ZomBEEs!

To arrange review copies, interviews or appearances, contact Media and Events Manager for Ronin Books, Janice Bohica at

In other news there will be signed copies of Night of the Living Trekkies, along with a few posters available this weekend in Southern California. The HWA LA Chapter (Horror Writers Association) is teaming up with Pet Orphans of Southern California for a fun, creepy, Halloween event this weekend to raise money for orphaned pets. Along with copies of Night of the Living Trekkies there will be works by other HWA authors like Terry M. WestMichael GonzalezHal BodnerJoel EisenbergDavid GerroldKate MaruyamaJoe McKinneyEric MillerS.P. MiskowskiRobin ReedLisa MortonIan Welke,Janet J HoldenTracy L CarboneWalter JarvisSteven Booth, and many more. Thanks to Steven Booth for setting this up. The event takes place this Sunday October 25th at Pet Orphans of Southern California located at 7720 Gloria Avenue, Van Nuys CA 91406.  For more info go to:

Promotions, E-mail Janice Bohica -

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Everything is Better with Cosplay!

An Interview with Three Talented Cosplayers

Its been said that everything is better with Pirates, everything is better with Zombies, but when it comes to events I believe - and take it from a guy who had his wedding on Halloween -everything is better with costumes!

And when I say everything, I mean everything, weddings, parties, meetings, and even non-genre conventions. I took my wife, then girlfriend, to an incredibly mundane hospitality convention (she married me anyway) and we still talk about that event because we got to meet the Procter and Gamble mascot, Mr. Clean. Since then I have been to many a dull event that has been brighten and made memorable by some amazing, creative, wacky human taking the time and energy to dress for the occasion. Now in 2015 we have a diverse culture of cosplayers that dress up at genre conventions, bringing to life characters that could only come from the human imagination. Their tenacity, courage, ingenuity, and yes skill in bringing our favorite pop culture icons to life is what I enjoy most about conventions.

But besides the few seconds required to snap a picture, I’ve never had the opportunity to ask the many questions I have regarding why they do what they do, what’s involved, and how does one even get started in cosplay? As the San Diego Comic Con approaches, I thought it would be a great time to try and get some answers. Three talented cosplayers took the time to answers my queries on the subject. Here is a bit about them first, and at the bottom of this post you'll find links to follow them on their ongoing cosplay adventures.  

Jessica Edmonds has been involved with cosplay all her life and is best known for her Punk Harley Quinn and Scarred up Helena from Orphan Black. Her favorite convention is the San Diego Comic Con which she will be at this year along with other appearances at Comikaze and Star Trek Vegas. 

Jessica Edmonds - Punk Harley Quinn
Lord Vishus Cosplay (Chris Meador) is relatively new to cosplay having been involved for two years now. He's best known for his Agent 47/Hitman and Sith Lord Vishus to name just a few. His favorite con is Comicpalooza, and you can see him at STCE Laredo and Del Rio Comic Con.

Lord Vishus Cosplay - Magneto
Christina Tellifson / Booba Fett has been dressing up in costume for events like movie premiers since she was a kid. She is known for her Apocalypse Alice in Wonderland, Luke Skywalker, Darth Fenris, and many others. Her favorite con is Star Wars Celebration. She will be at the San Diego Comic Con this year rocking Elena from Uncharted 4, Star Lord, and Cid Highwind from Final Fantasy VII. Then later this year at Dragon Con as Ms. Marvel. 

Christina Tellifson - Apocalypse Alice in Wonderland


KEVIN: There sometimes is a moment or an event that motivates people to try something new. What inspired you to try cosplay?

JESSICA: I was pretty much born into it. My mother is a costumer so childhood was full of playing dress up. Costumes weren't just for Halloween, if we wanted a replica costume she made it for us. My family also ran a game booth at Ren Faires up and down California. I was two weeks old at my first Ren Faire, so costuming is in my blood. 

LORD VISHUS: I was attended Amazing Arizona Comic Con in 2013 and saw all the amazing costumes and the people having fun and wanted to be a part of it. 

CHRISTINA: I have always loved costuming and pouring my creative soul into characters I love and have an affinity for. When I realized there was a whole community of people who love to do the same, I was sold. I was super nervous to wear a costume to my first SDCC in 2009, but was so thrilled when people complimented me and got excited by what I was wearing (Celes from Final Fantasy VI).
Christina - Rebel Pilot

 KEVIN: What impact has cosplay had on your life?

JESSICA: As a super shy kid costumes gave me the chance to be someone else. Someone, well, not shy. By taking on attributes of strong, brave, and confident characters you slowly find that those attributes are now your own. Cosplay let me explore different people, and in that, different parts of myself. And I know that greatly influenced my interest in acting.

LORD VISHUS:  I now have some of the best friends that I have ever had in my life. 

CHRISTINA: Cosplay and the con circuit has hugely impacted my life. Not only is it a creative outlet for me and a stress reliever, but I've made long lasting relationships with friends that I otherwise wouldn't have. I've learned so many skills sewing and prop building wise, so it keeps me sharp. It is also an extremely wonderful confidence booster. 

KEVIN: What is your most elaborate and or expense cosplay project? Success?

JESSICA: Several come to mind. One would be my Punk Harley Quinn. While it wasn't super costly it has a lot of pieces and I worked on it with several people. Working off a sketch I made the mallet with my buddies at Foam Junkies and my buddy Maurio took on the bulk of the armor. My mom took on the bulk of
the sewing. And my roommate shaves the diamonds on my head the day before any con. And also all of my Tank Girl costumes. My mom put in tons of time and effort into making me several exact replicas of Tank Girls costumes as well as costumes for Jet Girl, Booga and Richard for a photo shoot.

LORD VISHUS: My Sith Lord Vishus costume has cost me over $1500, due to having almost the entire costume remade and upgraded. 

CHRISTINA: I would say Harley Quinn was my most expensive costume project. I was a complete noob and purchased the body suit online. I also had to buy two sets of boots and gloves so I could have alternating colors. Currently, Captain Phasma from Episode VII will be my most expensive and time consuming project. All the chrome!!!!

KEVIN: What is your best cosplay convention celebrity meeting story? Ever meet your idol?

Jessica and Lori Petty
JESSICA: My all time favorite character is Tank Girl. Lori Petty as Tank Girl to be exact. It's the character that helped me break out of my shell, not care what people thought, and embrace my weirdness. The first time I met Lori my knees buckled and I nearly fell over shaking. I mean it's her! It's freakin Tank Girl! She was absolutely amazing and every bit as cool as I thought she would be. The thing is, now I see her around all the time. Probably about twice a year I work a con with her. Sometimes only a few tables down. She is just a really cool and chill person to talk with I sometimes stop and think "Omg, I hanging with Tank Girl!" I'm still not sure she gets how much that character means to me and how much she influenced the person I grew to be. Maybe she does, but at least she never makes me feel weird about it
Chris and Philip J. Fry

LORD VISHUS: If I had to pick one then I'd have to say that meeting voice actor Billy West who voiced Phillip J. Fry on Futurama is definitely my favorite moment. 

CHRISTINA: My favorite con story is meeting George R.R. Martin at SDCC. I was having a miserable time and my friend tapped me on the shoulder and told me to turn around. He was standing there waving me over and I couldn't believe
Christina and George R.R. Martin
it. He asked me to walk with him to his panel so we could chat. I remember asking him some questions regarding some theories I had and asked if I could hug him.  He said, "I would never say no to a beautiful woman being a weapon." Gave him a huge hug and as he turned to enter the panel room he says, "You know, you're just how I pictured Val."

KEVIN: If you could drop one piece of sage-like wisdom on someone interested in getting into cosplay, what would it be?

JESSICA: Have fun! Don't let people make you feel like it's some elite club. Do what makes you happy and have fun with it! 

Chris - Hitman
LORD VISHUS: For a first timer here in Texas, I'd say start off in a small convention like Texas Comic   
Con in San Antonio or Heart of Texas Con in Waco. It will give you a really good entry level taste of the fun of conventions and cosplay.

CHRISTINA: My advice to new cosplayers is JUST DO IT! *insert Shia LeBeof's inspirational video* Pick a character you love and pour your heart into it. You CAN do it, and you'll be so proud of what you can accomplish.  And remember, have fun and don't worry about anyone else. Reach out to the community for advice and help - there are so many forums and threads for all skill levels!

KEVIN: It seems there is a real genuine cosplay community, a network of craftspeople and artist, supportive, social, talented, and very outgoing. What do you love about the cosplay community?

JESSICA: I love that it creates instant camaraderie. I almost enjoy cosplaying a subtle/lesser known/minor character more than a big attention grabbing one. That way you know the few people that get who you are, are also big fans. You instantly have something in common to geek out about and I've made some amazing friends that way. I also love that it puts makers in the spotlight. Often costumers, fabricators and prop makers are unsung heroes. But in cosplay they are rock stars.

Christina - THOR
LORD VISHUS: I love the openness of the cosplay community.  I love how people are so willing to share tips and techniques for working on various aspects of props and costumes.  

CHRISTINA: Trying to pick just one thing I love most about the cosplay community is rough. It's so multi faceted for me. I suppose if I had to pick one thing, it would be the passion we all share and the over all support and love we all have for each other and the craft. Geeks unite! 

KEVIN: All communities change over time. What changes, good or bad, have you noticed in your time as a cosplayer?

JESSICA: I love that it helps people step out of their comfort zone and have fun. And the bigger it gets the
more people are included in that, which is nice. But along with that comes the bullies. Elitists who seem to go out of their way to belittle the work of others. They are divas who think they have reached some higher level of cosplay. And it takes something fun and turns it into a environment of judgment and alienation.

Jessica Edmonds
LORD VISHUS: The good thing is the fact that cosplay hasn't been a "fad."  It's definitely not going away.  The bad thing would be so many people wanting to be a cosplay "Pro."  Some people are forgetting why they got into cosplay in the first place, which is to have fun.  They get hung up on the need to have a booth and sell prints and be a huge cosplayer  in the community.  

CHRISTINA: The cosplay community is ever changing. I love seeing new costumers emerge and seeing the con floors littered with people sporting their newest costume. The community is growing, that's for sure. The only negative things I can really say are people who say they want to be famous or "cosplay famous." Stop it. Do it because you love it. The notoriety will follow on its own. 

KEVIN: In the past few years several conventions like PAX, and some Tech cons, have put the kybosh on “booth babes,” and some think this may have some overlap into the cosplay community, possibly placing new restrictions on costumes. Do you see the eliminating of the babes in the booth as having repercussions on the cosplay community?

JESSICA: The "Booth Babe" issue is kind of tricky. I have no problem with booth babes, in fact I've worked as a booth babe a few times. I think the real problem is when both booth babes and cosplayers think they can walk around nearly naked (sometimes actually naked) but it's ok because "It's just a costume". There needs to be a standard of decency. If you are walking around showing more skin or being more sexual than would be allowed on basic cable we have a problem. Especially when kids are present, which is the case at most conventions. Removing booth babes isn't the answer, implementing common sense decency guidelines is. 

LORD VISHUS: Not all.  PAX is "PAX."  It's not a fair example of the average convention.  More and more artist are picking cosplayers to help lure people to their booths, and I don't see that ending any time soon.  

CHRISTINA: As someone who works and attends expos such as E3 and PAX, I believe there is a place and time for models or "booth babes" to work. It certainly has caused controversy and unrest with some. I think, as long as the models know their product and are professional, they are a valid con/expo existence. These companies hiring them need to realize there are real sexy, geeky models who can do just that. But I've seen people treat these models badly and humiliate them, and that's not okay, ever.
Christina -  Darth Fenris

KEVIN: Many events like WonderCon are promoting the Cosplay is NOT consent slogan in an attempt to protect cosplayers from unwanted attention at events. But still there seems to be a problem. Recently Cosplayer Luna Lanie had a disturbing experience at MomoCon and has been speaking out about the incident? Have you run into this problem, and what techniques can you share to help keep new cosplayers safe.

JESSICA: And this is where I show some of my contempt for PC bandwagons. Let me be clear.
Inappropriate touching, comments, and actions are NEVER acceptable. That being said, if you willingly engage in certain behavior or a ridiculous state of undress you are making yourself vulnerable. If I walked into a poor neighborhood waving around cash I'm increasing my chances or being robbed. If I walk around with my boobs pushed up to my chin I'm increasing my chances of oogling stares and comments. Am I saying that behavior is ok? No. But if you actively put yourself in a vulnerable position you share the responsibility of the outcome, good or bad. This isn't victim blaming. It's a matter of being smart and responsible for your own actions. When I dressed as Slave Leia in the notorious gold bikini I was very aware of the attention I would receive when walking into a convention with thousands of geeks who most certainly had serious crushes on that character. That was the cosplay where I received the most inappropriate looks, comments and physical contact. And while none of that behavior was ok, I knew it was a strong probability. So to help ensure my safety I did a couple's cosplay with my over 6 foot tall boyfriend at the time who was dressed as Lando. Before we even got in the front door he physically pulled someone off me. He ran interference for me all day. You can never predict exactly how a stranger will behave. If you don't want that kind of attention steer clear of provocative costumes. And make sure you are always with someone who is able to protect you if need be.

Chris Meador
LORD VISHUS: In my opinion just highlighting the problem isn't going to make it go away. The guys that are acting in this manner do not care if people make an issue out of it.  They see a pretty girl and they flirt and act inappropriate towards them.  You may be able to catch the odd individual and maybe "name and shame" them, but it's never going to fully go away.  I by means support or justify their behavior.  I just know that the problem will continue to rear its ugly head at every convention regardless of how much awareness is placed on it.  Some guys simply do not care.  

CHRISTINA: The Cosplay is not Consent movement was actually started by Ellie Schweizer from my old site, 16-bit Sirens.  The idea was that harassment is never acceptable and cons should help provide a safe environment for all attendees. I've experienced lewd comments and people trying to grope me, yes. I make it clear verbally and physically that I am not okay with the situation.  If this ever happens, tell someone right away. It's also always good to have friends around. Not only can they help you get around with better ease while you're in costume, but safety in numbers will hopefully detour any creeps from bothering you.  Don't be afraid to speak up if you're uncomfortable or nervous. There's always someone there to have your back.

KEVIN: Anything else, final thoughts?
JESSICA: For the newcomers to cosplay I really just want to stress that the whole experience is suppose to be fun. Designing, researching, construction, convention. All of it. Don't ever feel like your cosplays are somehow not good enough. Always be excited about improving, always enjoy what you do. Remember the details. You can have a huge elaborate costume, but it will be the tiny reference to a single joke or episode that will make it memorable. Make sure it's something you can function in for long periods of time. Think of the silly things too, can you go to the bathroom in it? Can you carry your phone/wallet in it? Can you get through a crowd in it? Are you going to need people to assist you throughout the con, or help dress and undress you?

 And one final note. If you have a huge cumbersome cosplay that limits your vision or movement, don't even think about walking through a crowd or walking down vendor isles. If I see you running into people and merchandise I will yell at you, tell you to leave, and make you realize how scary a chick with a mohawk and a 6 foot mallet can be.

Christina - The Crow
LORD VISHUS: The only thing I would like to add is what I say to most people when I do panels on costuming and cosplay at conventions.  Have fun!! Pick characters you are passionate about and make the costume to the best of your ability.  It doesn't matter if your body isn't cartoon/movie/game accurate.  All that matters is that you are doing something you love, and I promise you that the majority of people out there will love the fact that you are doing something you love.  

CHRISTINA: I just want to say, whoever you are reading this, if you want to express yourself creatively through the form of cosplay, please do! I, for one, wholly welcome you. Jump on in, the water is fine. 


Jessica Edmonds is an actress living it Los Angles, Ca. If you put Tank Girl and Carol Burnett into a martini mixer, then added an actual martini, and shook it up she would be the result. You can find her on the random film set, comic con or autograph convention, or at her apartment running her youtube channel while watching netflix. Though acting is her primary focus, she has an extensive background in technical theater. Having worked for years in set construction, props, stage crew and even general construction for a time. When she is not nerding out over her favorite shows and making prop and costume replicas for her and her niece, she is sleeping. Which she enjoys very much.
YouTube channel 
Twitter and Instagram @little_ewok

Lord Vishus regularly appears as a guest at Cons across Texas, and has started his own comic book/costuming convention called Hero Con in Austin.
Twitter:  @LordVishus 
Hero Con on Facebook:

Christina Tellifson is an actress, gamer, cosplayer from central California, and believes Han shot first! Follow her on Twitter and Instagram: BoobaFett83, and her cosplay page on Facebook

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Book Signing Event & 2014 Awards

In a couple of weeks I'll be joined by World Fantasy Award winning author Dennis Etchison , Bram Stoker Award winner Eric J. Guignard , Southern California author and screenwriter Taylor Grant, and editor Marc Ciccarone at the world-famous Dark Delicacies book store this Valentine's Day, signing copies of NIGHT TERRORS III, from Blood Bound Books 2/14/15 from 2-4 PM. Come on by if you're in the area (Southern Ca, Burbank).

Its my first time going to the all horror book store, and from what I've been told, I'm going to want to get there early so I can shop. I'm already making a list of things to look for. 
AWARDS - 2014
Well, we are right in the middle of the awards season, People’s Choice, Golden Globes, Oscars, Razzies, etc…and I’d like to issue a couple of awards of my own for 2014. There is no academy involved with the issuing of these awards, no ballots, no studio backed lobbying, just my own reflections on 2014. So without further ado, here we go.

Biggest Wussy – 2014
This award goes to a Mr. Lee Palmer a resident of Portland. Although Palmer is identified as a male, the following story cast serious aspersions on that identification. So what happened, well, Mr. Palmer called 911 because he had barricaded himself and his family in his bedroom to protect everyone from the family cat. Not a bobcat or a mountain lion, but a household cat. Albeit a large cat (22 pounds) he required an emergency response to save him and his family from a house cat. An update on this story, NORM (National Organization of Real Men) has since revoked Mr. Palmer’s man card and he is reportedly no longer allowed to attend any of their meetings. 

Most Unnecessary Freebie—2014
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard an iTune user say—“What I really want for Christmas is a bunch of geriatric Irishmen to be automatically downloaded onto my digital device,” –I would have exactly, zero nickels. But that is exactly what rock band U2 did with their latest album, Songs of Innocents. ITune subscribers were taken aback to find that Apple had decided to force feed the album down their digital throats with very little regard for their users musical tastes. The album was reported to be difficult to delete and everybody I talked to about the freebie seem to greet the album with all the enthusiasm of a newly contracted STD. “Oh, man, my phone's got Bono.”  
A few updates: U2 issued an apology for the spam-like roll-out, Rolling Stone declared it The Album of the Year, and millions of Katy Perry fans still can’t get that old-man-music off their phones.

Most Narcissistic Device – 2014
I have absolutely no data to back this up, but I believe we are living in the most narcissistic times in human history. We live in an age in which every routine and impolite passage of gas is thought to be so amazing, so divine, so life altering, that it must be shared, tweeted, posted, instagrammed, uploaded, commentated upon, then re-tweeted to the world. And at the center of this mundane firestorm is the selfie—the DIY red-headed stepchild of meaningful, worthwhile photography. But sometimes while trying to take those self indulgent snapshots we can’t quite get the angle or the framing just right. No need to worry, here comes the Selfie Stick, and although not invented last year it really took off in 2014. Just attach your smartphone to one end and increase your ability to be monotonous. Another added bonus of the Selfie Stick is that you no longer have to interact with other human beings while traveling. Having to ask a stranger to take your picture while you make duck lips in front of that historic structure is a thing of the past. 

The Selfie Stick has already spawned an unholy offspring just right for the all around, full-body narcissist - The “Belfie Stick” which will help people take photos of their own asses. True story. 

Speaking of asses…

Biggest A-hole / Douchebag – 2014
Yes, yes I know that there is a world of difference between an asshole and a douchebag, but it has been my experience that if an individual is one of these things, they also tend to be the other as well. Which of coarse is the case with this year’s winner, and reigning king in the douchebag / a-hole department, Kanye West. Hail to the king. There are others that gave Kanye some competition for this award, Donald Trump (for installing his name in 20 foot high letters on one of his buildings for all Chicagoans to enjoy), Justin Bieber (DUIs, abusing innocent eggs, continuing to sing, refusing to return to Canada). But Kanye West is truly their King, and it wasn’t hard awarding his royal douchiness with this honor, what was difficult was choosing a single moment last year to highlight. But after some thought, this one incident really stood out for me. During a concert in Australia Kanye stopped the show and refuse to continue until every member of the audience got to their feet, including members of the audience that were handicapped. When a wheelchair bound fan dared to defy Kanye, refusing to rise in order to praise Kanye in the manner befitting Mr. West, security was dispatched at Kenya’s insistence. That will certainly teach the differently abled community not to disregard the healing power of the divine glory that is Kanye. 

Kanye on Kanye

"I am Warhol! I am the number one most impactful artist of our generation. I am Shakespeare in the flesh. Walt Disney, Nike, Google. Now who's going to be the Medici family and stand up and let me create more?" Kenya West on Sway in the Morning

"I am so credible and so influential and so relevant that I will change things."

"I think what Kanye West is going to mean is something similar to what Steve Jobs means. I am undoubtedly, you know, Steve of Internet, downtown, fashion, culture."

Well that about does it for 2014. Looking forward to a prosperous 2015 filled with acceptance letters and the opportunity to work with new and talented editors.